The Robert Valor Project

Lyrics

Welcome to Florida, all you tourists, come y'all
Where the sunshine's free, The beaches are pretty
And EVERYTHING in the water's got lots of TEETH
Now watch where you're steppin'

There's a gator in every pond, and in every lake
Every canal, every ditch, just waiting for a snack
There's one behind the golf course, one beside the pool
And some damn tourist says, "Hey, that gator looks cool
Tourist takes off their shoes, goes splashing right on in
While that old gator's waitin' with his toothy grin
The locals just laugh, shake their heads and say
"Boy, you must've been born yesterday

Only a fool goes barefootin' in the oceans' at night
When the moon ain't shining a shark's teeth just might
Gators in the freshwater, sharks are in the sea
Florida's got critters bigger than you or me
Hey! Hey! What can I say
Keep your toes out of their dinner buffet
From the Everglades to the Atlantic
Sharks are everywhere, and if you go in the water
They might just snack on YOU

Sharks love the ocean, and that's where they belong
They've been swimming in ocean waters since the dawn of time
But here comes a tourist at a quarter five
Washing sand off his sandy feet in the surf once again
He says, "It's just water, what could possibly go wrong
A shark's fin cuts through the water and cruises right by you
The lifeguard's gone home, and the beach is nearly dark
Congratulations, you got bit, you just met a shark

Only a fool goes barefootin' at night in the sea
When the moon ain't shining bright, a shark's teeth just migh
Gators in the freshwater, sharks out in the sea
Florida's got critters bigger than you or me
Hey! Hey! What can I say
Keep your toes out of their dinner buffet
From Daytona Beach to old Key West
Keeping all your toes is probably always best

There's a sign that says "GATORS HERE," about six feet wide
But a fella from up north (a tourist) says, "I'll decide
His wife starts screaming, "Get back on the land
He says, "Relax, honey, I'm just washing my hands
Then something goes splash, and he's never seen again
His wife is telling everybody down at the bar
"That Florida wildlife went a little too far
I need a new husband, that will listen to me

Gator in the canal!Oh no, no, no
Sharks in the surf! Don't go, go, go
Gator by the fairway! Leave the ball alone
Shark by the sandbar! Go swimming no more
You wouldn't pet a rattlesnake, or hug a grizzly bear
So why go dipping your bare feet
Where hungry teeth might get you there

Now I love old Florida, the sunshine and the sand
But Mother Nature's got her own special retirement plan
You can fish, you can dive, you can sail all day
Just give Florida's toothy neighbors plenty of space to play
The ocean ain't a bathtub, and the pond...ain't a pool
And common sense is something they just don't teach in school
So raise your margarita, laugh and sing along
"Sharks are in the water
"Also Gators too
You decide what becomes of YOU

Only a fool goes barefootin' day or night
When the moon ain't shining and some teeth just might
Gators in freshwater, sharks are in the sea
Florida's got critters bigger than you or me
Hey! Hey! What can I say
Keep your toes out of the dinner buffet
From the Gulf Coast beaches to the Atlantic blue
Florida's got a mouthful waiting for you

Remember, Dear tourists... If the water's fresh, there's gators there
They are there guarding a nest, or just waiting for you
If the water's really salty, you know it has sharks
And if it's dark... WASH YOUR DAMN FEET WITH A GARDEN HOSE